i spot quite a few typo in the previous post.. but i'm jus typically lazy to edit them.. sorry..
Continued..
Depth of one's loneliness? Mis perception..
Being next to u for some time.. I see u grow, see u change.. I'm so close to u yet today i feel like a stranger.. I felt like i nv knew u.. i recalled how we laugh at the smallest joke, share lil secrets and everything else.. Did u change or my perception towards this friendship change? Questions replicate itself in my brain.. Maybe is jus the side of u that i din see till today..
Manipulated by things and people surround me... I feel like a puppet.. Right means right.. Wrong mean wrong.. Stay.. Sit.. Can't i have my own decisions.. Whenever i made the slightest move of being on my own stand, i'm put down.. Now when i came to think bout it, i might lost all my confidence b'cos of this.. The confidence to speak, face people even think on my own now.. I loathes the feeling of being rejected.. So i'll jus go with the flow after that.. No more comments on my own..
Now u may think hiding and not facing the reality is a coward... but when i wanted to speak, think, or react.. Other tends to be either faster or stronger than i am.. Will i be the star that shine one day? Will i be the one ppl adore? Not the one who always being left in the corner or being there jus to let the better outshine them..
Perfectionism aims to be perfect.. But i ain't any near there anymore.. The factors that contributes to it : Upside down life, stress level building, mentally strain, sanity shaken, loneliness built..
The pain i just take it anymore i tried to take it away but it just came back to me..
Wen things get so complicated, u can't see any way out..
I'm sorry.. I can't seems to hold on the tears anymore.. No excuses.. It's jus a breakdown..
Jus let me cry.. Dun stop me..
