31/8
ok i'm re-writing this post.. i save it as draft yest... outside the rain is pouring.. here i'm pouring all my tots here into this post i hope readers dun mind.. These few days i'm thinking a lot.. a perfctionist mind - she wans everything to turn out perfect but is nv perfect.. she tries to meet her perfection but she nv did... A lil flaws she sees in people makes her uneasy.. She can nv say she's perfect but she is trying.. She blames herself for everything that goes wrong.. She takes others problem as her own.. She gives up when others nv seems to try.. She gives up when she sees a lil flaw.. she gives up upon rejections.. She seeems to have give up on everything now.. She nv wanted to feel this way but she nv find the correct way to express herself.. People mistaken her as who she is.. Dun assume who she is.. See who she is..
She dunno where to find the confidence others own.. All she owns is this lil soul where she can do nth.. Nth at all.. So helpless..she's toking nonsense again.. dun listen to her nonsense.. Leave her alone.. she's CRAZY.
30/8
I am a happy gal.. My mum brought me this shirt and a shorts yest.. I love them to the core.. And most importantly i love my mum.. She's the best.. Though somtimes i find her nagging intoleratable but i still love her.. i may be happy and sad at this moment..
ok i've nv been caught in a situation like tat.. i dunno how to face others.. jus dunno how to tell ppl i'm sad and i'm lost wen they seems to be enjoying themselves.. i dun wanna be some1 who affects everyone's mood.. And i dun wan ppl to think that i need pityness.. i jus need a place to say all my tots..
ok... i'll start.. My mum went for an ultra sound scanning and a fibroid tumour.. She can't go for an operation as she's having anemia.. So doctor advise her to supply herself with enough iron be4 she go for the op.. i'm worrried.. although the tumour is harmless and this op is at low risk i can't help but worry for her... she sound as if nth's gonna happen.. i dunno what she's thinking bout.. i think wat lead to her behavior is that she jus worry that other may worry too much.. i dunno what i'm saying.. I know i'm UPSET.. I'm worried.. but she doesn't seems concern at all.. oh my god i dunno what to do.. i feel like crying when i typing..
u may see nth on my facial expression but u i'm feeling terrible inside now.. Dun ask mi bout what will happen cos i dunno.. or ask if i'm ok.. u may wana consider jus smile, pat on my shoulder and tell me it will be over soon..
