15/8
Complicated feelings and thoughts..Fixing puzzle freaks me off.. Esp human mind..
Even wonder who can trust in this world?Ever wonder how elastic a person feeling is? Things start to get difficult when they jus dun go your way..They even tends to be opposite of wat u are heading.. but soon ya determination, they will jus follow u not against u..
I noticed things happen bcos of higher expectations, comparison, jelousy or should i say envies..Be contented with wat u have.. It kept me thinking, throughout my tuition and now the train ride..i wasn't concentrating on anything else but it.. i jus seems to see myself in it.. Putting yaself in another shoes is difficult but experiencing it will be like shocked.. It may not be the whole thing but feeling sth like tat..
I truely hope is our own assumptions that is leading us a lil too far.. And i hope she'll be really fine.. Not faking it or find all sort of way trying to vent her anger on us.. We were jus trying to help, nth bad..we were worry that's all..
Dun be afraid of loneliness.. Face it, embrace it and welcome it with a smile.. U nv know in this loneliness u find another world jusfor yaself.. I'm always in my lala land & I love to keep myself there where i feel safe.. Tat's where quietness lies,i manage to reflect upon stuffs & i finally found myself.. This may only applies to me but not others.. U can easily find ya own way to face all the problems.. Any others means, u do to be happier (nth negative i hope)..
== Getting off train == tata ==
16/8
To inform u ppl.. I have jus got SACK.. At the moment, quite a impact on mi - world crashed.. but come to think of it.. Izzit god who made my wishes come true.. I kept saying that i dun want the tuition anymore.. Or izzit a disease that spreads around we gals.. I'm feeling sad at the point i received the msg from the agent.. He called me to call the parent and i got my others to call for me .. cos i find no courage and i jus dun want to tok to the girl's mum.. i Scared is my fault for not being competent.I felt useless.. Got myself distracted by other stuffs later on.. Din really bother bout it till now i'm alone.. That impact's back, I'm feeling kinda sad.. I'll be alrite :)
Is been real hard to communicate recently.. So many things going throught my mind.. I feel mad i dunno how to express myself to others..Sometimes they jus misunderstand and i dunno how to clarify..i jus leave it.. Hm.. I'll still think bout it.. I think i'm going crazy.. I've got great family, great friends.. Too great to go crazy maybe will go a lil insane.. i dun understand what i'm really going through now.. Mood Swing or Impacts of stuffs jus accumulate...
Ppl always say: " what goes around comes around." Izzit true?
No comments on what had happend recently.. Confused at the moment.. Maybe rr will tok mi through later..
== City Hall here i come ==
17/8
Gal..Thankz for everything.. Love ya.. Muackz.. Sorry for being a lil over.. *Sorry Sorry... It Was a lil over my head..
Rubbing salt into the wound.. My dad and sis did.. Oh my god.. Why should i say it? *Regrets..Think i'll get over it soo and get a job asap.. Holiday coming, *Bang head.. No income - means my plan gonna push backward again! Gonna listen to my bestie: try everything!
My lappy will become the one who most understand me!My soul mate.. Hahaz..Everything is here.. I hope nth hapens to it else i will die.. Problems are arising.. *Pray Hard.. No problem..
Tat's all.. Can't concentrate..
== Off to sch - on train ==
